I was catching up with my subs & recs today and came across this post regarding circumcision. More interesting to me than the entertaining arguments for and against the procedure was this particular comment:

The long, exaggerated strokes of the circumcised man (because he doesn't have the same fine-touch threshold) are faster, harder, and he actually withdraws each time. This can lead to pain for the female, and basically it takes the man forever to climax a lot of the time. "

Now, I've gotten around, had my share of "short, loving, gentle strokes" and "long, exaggerated" ones, from cut and uncut men alike. Maybe my poor vagina is just too jaded, but to the other ladies, do you feel like sex is different with circumcised and uncircumcised men? Gentlemen, do you think it plays into your...style?

1. Because I find the nude female body more aesthetically pleasing than the nude male body I am "prejudice" and "ignorant."

2. Because I have naturally large breasts I am "disgusting," "awful," "fake," and "uninformed."

3. Because I laughed at a stereotype I am "bigoted" and "shallow."

4. I'm a hermaphrodite.

I am so sorry to all my subs for being such a terrible person, disgusting person. How in the world have you guys handled me this long?! Is there anything I haven't realized yet (but other, more *perceptive* Xangans have) that I need to know about you?

Admittedly I'm not very good at arguing. In person I stumble over my words and forget what I was talking about, and online, well, I keep my troll tendancies to myself (instead bitching about how stupid people are to my husband when he gets home) because I just can't win. The internet is a fantastic resource, for cross referencing, debating, hot girls, whatever's clever, however because there is such a wealth of information on the net it breaks free the self-proclaimed expert in all of us. When we read something, it must be true--we read it--and then the flaming begins.

I have experience in the field of ______.
Ok, you went to space camp--you're a trained astronaut now. Your favorite novel stars a journalist, so you're well versed in the complexities of mass media. Hours of history channel and you're an archaeologist. And if you did actually study whatever it is at one point, this knowledge is very nicely complimented by a side of Wikipedia. Of course I've used this one before. Reality check--what "fields" do I have experience? Commercial photography, small-time magazine publishing, secretary-ing, building dangerous cars, and teaching 6 years olds. Anything else I'm probably bullshitting, unless its an opinion, which I may or may not but bullshitting too, depending on my mood.

I am so sorry/going to pray for you.
And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord YOUR soul will take. BOO YAH. This approach makes about as much sense as that remixed little prayer. Oh please. What happens when I wake up one day and your praying has worked, and I am smarter/more enlightened/more agreeable? Then who will you have to feel superior to?

You're so ignorant!
If you're going to revert to insults could you at least think up something more original? After lolspeak 101, the first word in your internet vocab should be "ignorant," it's used in arguments more than any other synonym for "you're a friggin' 'tard and I'm better than you because my mommy told me so." Look, I'm sorry I don't think [insert opinion about art/politics/life experience/ice cream flavors here], but that doesn't make me "ignorant" (just classless, maybe).

You're a fucking Nazi.
So THAT'S why the Nazis had to take out us Jews! We had opinions (loud and obnoxious ones) too! It all makes sense now, that Aryan chosen people nonsense was just a cover up. "I think it's an insult to Nazis and Hitler really. I mean those guys tried REALLY REALLY hard to be that evil!" -CB

Blocking.
Out of sight out of mind. When new people visit my blog they will see nothing but agreeable comments and realize just how right I am! Brilliant!

But why argue in the first place? Most obvious would be that you disagree with someone. So the purpose of arguing would be to convince whoever you disagree with to see things your way, right? If this is the case has anyone actually ever won an argument--especially online?  Upgrade from these tried and true but boring tactics, throw your readers a curve ball and laugh at yourself with them a little--or even more outrageous, just hear me out on this one--work on being persuasive. Wait...what were we arguing about again?